People with normative, culturally valued bodies (that is, thin or muscular, white or light-skinned, hairless or appropriately hairy, cis, masculine, non-disabled, and so on) use Grindr as a way to seek out sex, friendship, and other relationships, and present their experiences on Grindr as if they are universal. Not only do they inevitably bring up Grindr, but they talk about it in a way that assumes I can relate to their experiences. Usually, as allosexual and sex-positive adults, sex almost inevitably comes up in conversation and – given that these people are almost always thin people who exclusively enjoy sex with other thin people (though they wouldn’t probably think of themselves that way, or admit it) – they inevitably bring up Grindr. Sometimes, I also befriend men, or other queer people, who enjoy and seek out sex with men.
I’m a queer, fat person who enjoys and seeks out sex with men, usually men who think of me as a man (and I don’t correct them). Two people hugging while staring at each other just before they kiss